Cambodian American Testimonies on Khmer Rouge Tribunal

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Healing Has No End

My brother's family recently moved to San Jose into a small one story home with an old family friend of ours. This old family friend knew my parents and grandparents from way back when in Viet Nam. She is now a widow and has been living alone since her husband passed just a few months ago. She kindly opened up her home to my brother and his new family. Since he moved there, I've been visiting often.

Not sure why, but today something sparked my interest in her family's story as I was sitting there eating the sauteed beef and peas with rice. So I started asking her a series of questions without much pause in between.

"So Auntie...can I ask, when did your family come to the US?"
"...1986."
"How did you get here?"
"...Sponsorship by my sister."
"What happened to your family after 1975?"
"...We stayed in Sai Gon."
"Did your husband go to reeducation camp like my dad?"
"...Yes, for 2-3 years."
"What were you doing while your husband was in camp?"
"...I was taking care of my 4 kids alone."
"How old were your kids at the time?"
"...My husband left on the 23rd. I had my youngest just 12 hours after he left."
"Ohhh k...so what was life like when the Viet Cong took over?"

...silence...

I stopped chewing and placed my chop sticks on the plate. She was still facing the stove stirring the soup in the pot. I leaned to the side to see if she had heard my question but noticed that her cheeks were getting red. She started sniffling quietly and tears began to fill her eyes. She started shaking her head, shocked at her own reaction to my seemingly harmless questions. Shaking her head vigorously as if to shake the tears from her memories.

I didn't know what to say.

I felt so guilty.

I started explaining to her why I was so curious about her family's history and experiences. Telling her about the growing disconnect between refugee parents and their children and how the gap will eventually lead to an out-of-touch generation. I told her that hearing such stories are important to me, and helpful in understanding my parents and grandparents.

She responded,"My memories are too painful to recall. Let's not talk about it now." She remained silent, pulled deep into her thoughts as she continued to cook.

I withdrew and finished eating my rice. I got lost in my own thoughts. This experience just reaffirmed my understanding of disruption. Disruption of refugee memories, families, culture and experiences. I was reminded that the healing process sometimes never has an end. And that those of the first generation who struggled through the war and resettlement experience first hand are still scarred so deeply... yet remain so silent.

And for the Southeast Asian refugee, this silence... is worse than the belligerent outcry or the emotional rage.

How do we contribute to the healing process?

Big Trouble in Little Saigon

Due to the recent classiness of Republicans in the news, especially those from Orange County, I figure it would be relevant to talk about the upcoming 2010 US House elections regarding California's 47th District. Loretta Sanchez, a "Blue Dog" Democrat, is currently the representative and she will probably continue being so after the election, based on past election results. Still, the Republican Party won't go down without a fight, so why not throw in some Vietnamese dudes into the mix?

So, we've already got Van Tran, about whom Danielle has already written, and as you can see from this OC Register piece, we've now got Quang X. Pham. From the article, it is stated Pham is gaining some ground through the raising of some much-needed funds and Tran has lost a bit of his sparkle from some involvement in a DUI case involving a Westminster Councilmember. (Also from the article, they used a pretty bad photo of Pham, which is cut off below his nose and shows him really pale.)

better looking photo of Pham

So who is this Quang X. Pham? A quick search yields some articles he wrote about war in Iraq and Vietnam and a piece about President Ford shortly after he died. And of course, his campaign site. From the bio, it mentions his history: "Quang 'Q' Pham, 44, is a healthcare entrepreneur, community leader, decorated Marine Corps veteran, and author". Quite an interesting story, if you read the rest of the bio. Very American Dream-y, he and his story are. In fact, he embodies very much what a lot of people think of when they imagine Orange County in their minds. To quote a FiveThirtyEight piece:

unapologetic anti-communism, embrace of the military-industrial complex, strong Christian family values, suburbanization, bootstrap entrepreneurialism, and a fierce resistance to big government, new taxes and the welfare state.

I'm not sure about the Christian values part, but I'm pretty sure about everything else. His chances of doing well in an OC election would be pretty good, except for the fact that the 47th District is one of the more diverse districts, with the number of Democrats actually outnumbering Republicans.

So that sort of paints a picture of who he is, but why should one vote for him? What's he running on? On his site, there's not really a section that talks about a platform with specific issues. Rather, a visitor is given a generic introduction. Let's take a look:

There's a short bio of Pham, and then the line "Now there's a fresh voice and a new choice." Oh dang, I'm totally digging the internal rhyme. +1 right there. Here's the next paragraph:

I joined the Republican Party for its principled stance on less government, lower taxes and sensible and strong national defense. I believe in individual choices, liberty and the right to pursue happiness. I believe in personal responsibility and respect for others.

Nothing to disagree with here (except maybe the part about sensibility). That's the Republican party. The rest are things that are not very controversial, like saying I believe in freedom and democracy and being nice to people. Then, the next two paragraphs are the most interesting, as they have the most content in them. Still, there is not really a clear platform, but just a bit less vagueness.

And, the pièce de résistance, his personal story of overcoming adversity and achieving the American Dream: When I arrived in America as a boy from Vietnam, I had lost my country, my freedom and my father. Yet the American Dream was still attainable. It took dedication, encouragement, hard work and perseverance. And it can still be done. We need leaders who will emphasize self-sufficiency and who will inspire others to seek opportunities--not just government handouts.

If he can do it, why can't everyone else? Come on people, jeez! This is a simple sufficient-necessary relationship. If you work hard, then you'll achieve the American Dream. Thus, the contrapositive follows as true: if you did not achieve the American Dream, then you did not work hard. Simple as that, no other factors like structural inequalities or institutional barriers. [side note: too much sarcasm and too much LSAT studying make my head hurt.]

[Edit: the inverse of this had me thinking for awhile. One could say if you have achieved the American Dream, then you've worked hard. I guess it makes sense like that, but too many people do the reverse and that is how you get to the conclusion of people blaming others for their failures or non-realizations of whatever it is the American Dream is.]

Even Craig Nelson (Mr. Incredible hisself) knows what's up: "I've been on food stamps and welfare, anybody help me out? No. No." You think about that.

And... I'll just leave it at that. Before I'm down though, I wanted to share this endearing clip of Loretta Sanchez during the 2008 DNC. Yeah, she's definitely gonna be re-elected.

Questions? Comments? Concerns? Criticisms?

Bao Phi Blogging

Hey Folks . . so some of you might think this is a cop out on blogging on my own, but please check out Bao Phi's blog in the Twin Cities' Star Tribune.

His first post is pretty freaking awesome.

He's going to be blogging there for a few months so y'all should support him and help to balance out the crazy mainstream comments he might get.

Slanty Eyes, Morning Interrupted

It's funny to think that today I woke up this morning feeling excited to remember and celebrate our great President's birthday. Then my morning enthusiasm was quickly shaken out of me during my regular 17 minute drive to work.

You know. My regular route. Familiar traffic lights, stop signs, and speed limits. I typically embrace the short ride in the morning, usually because I clear my mind with my favorite tunes or listen to NPR Morning Edition...

But today, it was different. My regular route was rudely and abruptly interrupted by a reckless-White-male-driver who saw me driving 45 mph... about 1/8 of a mile away from his wait at the stop sign to turn right on to the same road. This White man... with his blue trucker hat, riding in his damn dated-over-sized-fuel-guzzling-trashy-Bronco-truck, decided to make the right turn anyways... AND not even try to speed up to at least 40mph to avoid what could have easily been a collision had I not quickly changed lanes into a luckily open left lane. At this point, I'm quietly upset.

As I pass him on the left, I'm shaking my head, smiling... looking straight ahead.

Curious to see if I had amused him at all, I glanced to my right and lo and behold... the asshole has both his hands up to his eyes, index fingers pointed inwards to lift the skin on the sides of his racist eyes, slanting them up to creatively imitate, I guess... ME?

Fuck you guy, fuck you. You're so CLEVER! Thinking that though you were the one who made the stupid decision to take a high-risk right turn... to almost cause an absolutely preventable accident...to pretty much debunk the stereotype that Asian women can't drive because it is YOU who can't drive... that making an unoriginal slanty eyes face to mock me would make you feel better... about your ignorant, socially-unconscious-because-you-don't-have-to-be, limited in perspective thing... that you call your life.

A thirty second experience warped my thoughts to date back to 1979, the year my family resettled in America. Obvious instances and subtle stints of racist treatment that they may not even remember 30 years ago. Obvious instances and subtle stints of racism that exists today, still with the election of our first African American President.

Happy Birthday President Obama. Don't celebrate too long. We still got a lot of work to do.

Van Tran, You Are Not My Future

Dear Assemblymember Tran,

My name is Thanh Truc Duong, and here is my short story. I am second generation Vietnamese American. I was born in the City of Garden Grove, one of the seven cities that you proudly serve. My parents and siblings are refugees of the American War in Southeast Asia.

In 1978, shortly after my father was released from "reeducation camp," my family fled by foot late at night, barely escaping the hands of Vietnamese communists, leaving everything they knew as "home" behind. On a 50-foot fishing boat, they sat cramped and quietly with hundreds of other Vietnamese refugees, waiting patiently to cross the seas, praying for clear skies and a ocean pathway absent of hungry pirates. Blessed by the Buddha's watch, they made it safely to Malaysia where they lived in a refugee camp for six months until being sponsored to America.

They first resettled in Hawthorne. While my father studied for months to regain his license as a family physician, my family lived on welfare. My mother worked multiple jobs as a caretaker, maid, and tailor to bring in any extra cash to help keep my 3 siblings out of trouble. Finally my father passed his certification. The economy was good in the 1980s, so they opened up a clinic with the intentions of serving recent immigrants and refugees in Westminster, families just like ours.

A few years later, I was born, and... here I am now. A recent graduate of the best public university in the world. Looking back at my story, I just can't say that it was solely my hard work that brought me to where I am today.

I read your short story too. Your entire refugee background was written so concisely into two sentences. You skillfully fit 34 years of experience with war, escape, diaspora, and resettlement into a brief and painfully distant paragraph.

As the first Vietnamese American to serve in elected office in the United States, I ask you this...

How has your Vietnamese American identity successfully thrown you into consideration as the "future of the GOP" yet barely be a point of discussion on your own website... or more importantly, how does your unique refugee background inform your policy decisions on immigration, education, and other matters impacting our communities ?

On the hard and cold surface level, our families may share the same history of war and displacement. But beyond that, the boot-straps approach and political ideology that you developed from your experiences are not mine.

So when I heard your announcement to run for Congress, my heart sank. As a progressive-minded second generation Vietnamese American, I do not believe that your narrowed, dated perspectives on social and economic issues will carry our growing, younger generation through the expected challenges and obstacles that face us in the decades to come.

As a native of Orange County, I will look to more forwards-thinking, inclusive-approaching, coalition-building, diplomatic and non-divisive leadership ... regardless of ethnicity.

I think it's time that the Vietnamese American community has a loud wake-up call. For our more privileged generation, being of Southeast Asian descent will no longer be enough.

Wishing you the best,
Thanh Truc Duong

to get nominated

so a while ago i wrote a blog that did a little roastin' of our Vietnamese Congressman.

however, yesterday a colleague of mine from new orleans shared with us a one on one conversation he had with cao about how things are going.

cao basically told him that because the district is so heavily democractic, the primary election is fierce. Also, since the district is so heavily black, in order to even get nominated through the democratic party in louisiana's second district, you needed to be from the black community.

this implied that cao may have run for office under the republican party because it was simply easier to win that nomination.

explains why the the GOP didn't really support him very much during the campaign.

reminds me student politics and how in order to be nominated through calserve was actually a really difficult process.

i wonder if this is true.

cao is actually really good on a few things like immigration and human rights. the only thing i'm concerned about is reproductive rights. Also, his vote on the stimulus package wasn't so great (he argues he didn't have enough time to read over).

so what does this mean for us and for our community?

is this strategic?

is this selling out?


any thoughts?